Posted by Bubblegum on December 22, 2002 at 23:14:32:
In Reply to: Matchmaking posted by Bette on December 21, 2002 at 22:24:41:
Hey Bette: Being "practical" has nothing to do with being Jewish. American culture has a tendency to ask a man "What he does" first before getting to know who the person is. My culture asks "Who you are" first. My father and sibling do not boast on what they do unless it is part of the conversation. If we happen to find out what you do on top of who you are, then that is a plus. You can have a less prestigious job, be financially able to raise a family, and have great character, as well as a good reputation,and you will be accepted. It's not how much you make or what job you have, it's the person behind the job that I'm concerned with. It's like I see this thing about women boasting in their husband's prestigious job (ex. doctor,lawyer,dentist,etc.) and I don't get it. Call me a country Caribbean woman but it is something that I am not impressed with too much. Unless you need a doctor, lawyer or dentist, I don't think I want to know that stuff. Also, you forget that sometimes being pragmatic is not always wise in some circumstances. I am a pragmatic person and I had to swallow my pride a few times with the notion of practicality overriding what God wanted me to do that seemed so foolish to people. Also, since when letting things "happen" was an evangelical Christian thing? Dating is something I haven't been too fond of. And this is more a society/cultural thing than an evangelical Christian thing. It would be foolish for me to just let things "happen" in a dating setting. I feel very uncomfortable with that and I don't feel safe. I don't trust myself and I praise the Lord for not trusting myself in that area. That is why I value the input of elderly women and women who have been there before me who can see things that I don't. That is why I want to be with an older Christian couple to learn from them. And I mean to be there prior to pre-pre-pre-marital counseling. I have been a square peg that has been forced into a round box that refuses to fit in. Challening article Bette. I thank you for it.